Tuesday, January 31, 2006


This picture was (surprisingly) NOT taken from www.plasticsurgeriesgoneawry.com. But I think you'd agree with me that it should be posted there.



Cici Paramida, there's one thing I've always wanted to say to you from a loooong time ago...

YOU GOT BUTCHERED, Girlfriend!!!

And no, slapping 4-inch-thick Barbara Cartland-esque make-up on your face is not going to make that steel-pipe nose look any better. Yes, I know I'm being harsh. But then again, who told you to trust Ci Eva Liong and her Amerika Punya liquid silicone?

Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah






Saturday, January 28, 2006




Former Warna pint-size sweetheart, Dea Mirella, is finally back in the spotlight as... AN AEROBICS INSTRUCTOR QUEEN (watch out Liza Natalia!). Here she is on the launching party of her exercise VCD, "The Kegel Master: How To Please Your Partner And Win A Singing Contest Just By Sitting On Your Ass All Day Long". We snapped her backstage wearing a pillow and long-pillow case by MamaTex while she was waiting to go on stage to perform a remake of Britney Spears' hit "(Hit Me With A Dumb-bell) Baby One More Time" from the soundtrack of her VCD.

Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah






Friday, January 27, 2006


HOLY NASTY UNKNOWN CELEBRITY, BATMAN!!!

WHAT ON EARTH???!!



Anne J. Cotto in an army call-girl camouflage couture is what nightmares are made of. My 13-month-old nephew was actually crying and screaming like a flock of seagulls when he saw this picture (Oh no! What have I done?!). I don't understand why anyone would ever dress like a WWE Smackdown wrestler's sidekick at his/her own will. Hmmm...I smell desperation. This has I'd do anything to be on any infotainment written all over it. Well, in that case...well played Miss Cotto. Mission accomplished.

Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah






Thursday, January 26, 2006




Ceu Rency, pesen lotek 2. Dibungkus. Kol-nya yang banyak. Jangan pake pedes.

Neng Sarah.

PS. Did anyone notice, Rency Milano (no connection with Alyssa, sadly) is wearing a kerudung with a SEE-THROUGH blouse and a SEE-THROUGH tanktop underneath? I can see her friggin' bra, for God's sake! Correct me if I'm wrong, but i believe the whole concept of wearing a veil is to conceal your body. Rency, apa kamu kacang??!!


Posted by Neng Sarah






Wednesday, January 25, 2006




Indonesia's infotainment darling and Jaksen Parangin-Angin's evil nemesis, Cut Memey, doesn't let the bad media exposure get under her skin. She recently hosted a lavish Tupperware Party at her 1.5 billion worth abode, in this bewitching (pun intended) and flashy pink and turquoise halter satin number ornately embedded with myriads of non-precious rhinestone and matching earrings by Acong's House of Fashion which dazzled her why-are-they-famous celebrity guests (such as Anne J. Cotto and Eddies Adelia) and sent them into an orgasmic frenzy.

Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah






Tuesday, January 24, 2006


After two drug busts, of which one involves an escapade to as far as Houston, TX, one in-prison pregnancy, of which the father of the now 5 year old child still remains in smokes, and the recent claim that that particular child has been kidnapped by her boyfriend, of which subsequent events seem to have turned the table against her, does seeing Zarima wearing a cheap plastic orange-shaded sunnies that she seems to have bought in a prison bazaar surprise me?



NOT AT ALL!!

Nice blazer btw...

Mpok Jane.


Posted by mpok jane






Monday, January 23, 2006








Here's the difference between me and Indonesian celebrities (beside not having a burning desire for Scarlet's wigs nor a make-up artist who gives me an MKD [Muka Krisdayanti, ed.]): whenever I see a rabbit I go, "Oh, what a cute and fuzzy little animal!", while most Indonesian celebrities see a rabbit and go, "Oh, it would make a lovely bag!".

Ladies, animals are not decoration for your clothes and accesories worth slaughtering for the sake of fashion! So please Catherine Wilson, is it really necessary for you to dress like post-sex romp Mrs. Santa Claus? Nasyila Mirdad, stop trying to be Marini Zumarni's replacement on Bidadari. And Krisdayanti, why would you want to look like Barbara Cartland's sofa cushion? You girls are soooo wrong for thinking that wearing a dead animal is going to make you any prettier.

So anyway, from now on I declare, no more animal cruelty. Only celebrity cruelty. Hear! Hear!

Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah






Friday, January 20, 2006


Please give a warm round of applause for Rheina "Ipeh" Maryana and her invention, The Bust Brace.



The Bust Brace will give you maximum support and will perk up any sagging breasts instantly. Perfect for woman with small chests and or drooping breasts due to gravity, aging, and maternity.

Be the center of attention and collect compliments with The Bust Brace.

Made from Steel-Titanium alloy which makes it durable yet lightweight.

Available in glitter for evening wear and non-glitter for daywear at any hardware store near you.

The Bust Brace,
A bra is not enough.

Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah










Note to Femmy "Ratu Bazaar" Permatasari:
  • Frayed denim jackets were out 6 months ago,

  • Diamond alphabet pendants were out 3 months ago,

  • CK logo tank tops were out 5 years ago,

  • Shirley Temple curls were out 30 years ago,

  • Your face was out 4 years ago.

Sorry...

Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah






Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Ladies and gentlemeeeeeeeeeeeen......

Welcome to another deathly, blood soaking, bone wrenching edition of Celebrity Deathmatch!! Without further due, let's welcome the fighters for tonight's "Fight of The Big Collar" match!!

On the red corner is a woman whose deathly thrusts of hip can cause mass erection among men and even the most upright man to cum three times in his pants without any assistance! it's Iraaaaaaaaaaaaaa Swaraaaaaaaa!!!!


And on the blue corner is a woman with uncountable heads under her belt, including one of her own cousin, Mary of Scotland, the woman who oversaw the start of British expansions and centuries of colonialisation worldwide! It's none other than the Virgin Queen herself, Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth I!!!!!


Who will prove to be the deathliest of the two? Only one way to find out...Take your position ladies and let's get it on!!!

Mpok Jane.


Posted by mpok jane






Tuesday, January 17, 2006




Ladies and Gentlemen, whodoyouthinkheare presents Cut "Alicia Keys Threw Up All Over Me" Memey's new album "The Diary of Cut Memey", featuring 10 amazing songs, including:

"U Don't Know My Name (Before The Cheap Publicity Stunt)"

"A Woman's Worth (Is 1.5 Billion)"

"Publicity and I"

"Karma"

"If I Ain't Got Moolah"

"My Boobs", featuring Ressa Herlambang

"Jackson, How Come You Don't Call Me Anymore?"

Not available on CDs or Casettes at record stores near you. So don't bother looking fot it now!

Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah










No Titi DJ, nobody is going to do a remake of TVRI's Dokter Sartika, so there really is no point in donning a doctor's jacket. But more importantly, even if they were going to do a remake of it, I highly doubt they would consider casting someone who came to the audition wearing a mint green fishnet stockings with *i can't believe they make that* matching mesh top, a napkin (oh I'm sorry, is that a skirt?), and hair that looks like a horde of live eels on a supermarket's aquarium.

However, if we heard that they need contestants for the new season of The Swan, we'll let you know, okay?

Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah






Friday, January 13, 2006




Someone has obviously been watching too much Charmed and as a result mistakenly takes herself to be Phoebe Halliwell. Well, let me tell you Miss X-with-god-knows-how-many words-better-known-as-fla that Phoebe Halliwell herself would not, in any circumstance, be caught dead with a huge silvery scarf around her head, a huge donut-shaped necklace gem, a dreadful-looking overcoat, and a chain that runs from a hideous belt. At this rate I would say you look more like a cult follower of Dedy Corbuzier only that a cult follower of Dedy Corbuzier would only wear black because Dedy Corbuzier only wears black so you got that one wrong. And hypothetically speaking, if you could really see the future the way Phoebe Halliwell does, you could have actually seen that dressing up like this would only give us something to laugh and bitch about.

Mpok Jane.

PS: one more thing, I am sure as hell that Phoebe Halliwell sees the future inside her head and not on an imaginary TV screen made up by fingers. Duuuhhhh....


Posted by mpok jane






Thursday, January 12, 2006




Venna, I believe that is the ugliest and most repugnant dress I've ever seen in my life! It looks as is if it was sewn dreadfully and made from a bargain basement priced fabric. And you know what the worst part is? The transparent handkerchief-style skirt with a raggy lining that is longer than the skirt itself. And what a perfect idea it was for you to top it off with a really really bad blonde wig that puts Krisdayanti's Shinchan wig to shame. You definitely put the whore in horrifying.

So Venna, when I said that your presentation here reminds me of either:

  • Tinkerbell (as in both the fairy friend of Peter Pan and the dog of Paris Hilton), or

  • a winter Olympic figure skater, or

  • a salsa dance competition's contestant from Guadalajara, or

  • Tina Turner in 1967,


please DO take it as a compliment.

Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah






Sunday, January 08, 2006




Relax people, Bella Saphira did not have a car accident, and no, that is not a designer neck brace. But now that she is officially a singer (after she released her first--and only--album) she must always keep her pipes warm (for those impromptu singing requests, of course), thus the diamante studded neck warmer.

Oh, who the hell am I kidding. That's not a neck warmer. Adjie Massaid gave her hickeys the night before and she was trying to conceal it with that necklace. Okay, there you have it.



But on the other hand, Nirina Zubir really did have a car accident and sprained her neck, so she had to wear that neck brace.

Or maybe she just likes the attention. Hmmm, I'm not sure.

Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah






Saturday, January 07, 2006




First of all, I don't really mind the dress. I could live with it if only she had bothered to iron it prior to wearing it. But the furballs on a string she has dangling around her neck? Eww...Did she just loose a bet to wear it?

Mpok Jane.


Posted by mpok jane










If the above were a wax statue to be displayed, I bet that it would go with a caption that says something like "A Sinetron Has Been/Failed Singer Dressed in Things from the Everything Must Go/Nothing Over Rp.50,000 Rack" or "The Hair that Bewildered the World: Hair Extentions Gone Wrong".

Strike a pose bella!

Mpok Jane.


Posted by mpok jane






Thursday, January 05, 2006




After seeing this picture of Marshanda, I can't decide which is more frightening: her failed so-yesterday derelict-chic look, or her eerie grin that makes her look like Silvana Herman.

Neng Sarah.

PS. Nevermind the heat, but won't that furry jacket give you a rash or something?


Posted by Neng Sarah






Tuesday, January 03, 2006


I didn't recall when did exactly Titi DJ lost all sense of style (probably sometime during my unconsciousness after her self-declaration as "Sang Dewi", oh well, she must've meant "Sang Dewi Kesuburan"), but nowadays everything she wears just screams cheap. Just take a look at this picture, and please--I insist--please, ignore her actual blond hair that looks like a bad 100%-nylon wig.



From the ribbony flowery senorita top, to the plastic bangles, to the crummy jeans, every piece appears cheap and looks like something my pembantu can get at "Pojok Busana" Mal Cijantung.

Oh Titi, what happened? Can't you buy something nicer? Where did you lose all your money? Did you spend it all on that tummy tuck/liposuction/breast augmentation/butt reconstruction/vaginal rejuvenation what-have-you procedure? If you really are in dire straits, maybe you should consider selling all of your Dior collection. God knows those Hardcore Dior saddlebags are so 2 years ago.

Please Titi, do something. Before I start mistaking you as my pembantu in a bad wig.

Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah






Sunday, January 01, 2006


Neng Sarah punya tebak-tebakan...

Item, fals, keringetan, berrenda-renda, berjala-jala, dibedakin, trus dibungkus aluminium foil, apa ayooo?

Nyerah?



Menurut lohhhhhhhhhhhhhh????



Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah