Tuesday, February 28, 2006


We've all heard how dumb most models are. And this one apparently can't pick out the right bra (nor outfit).



Note to Catherine Wilson: stick to your REAL cupsize. Let's not pretend to be something we're not, shall we? And certain top needs a certain bra. Hard-as-iron Kutang Nenek definitely doesn't go with cheap-looking top from Tante Sonya Collection.

Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah






Monday, February 27, 2006


When a man is having a midlife crisis, he will probably have an affair with someone half his age. When a woman is having a midlife crisis, she will probably dress half her age. But when the woman in subject happens to be an 80's has-been who used to do *oh God, I'm getting goosebumps* an imitation of Janet Jackson and is currently depressed because she's facing a divorce from her husband who allegedly raped their maids...well, the result is just ugly, with a capital U,G,L, and Y.



Imaniar thinks that mixing her own pieces with the stuff she stole from her son's closet is going to make her look young and hip. Well I hate to break it to you Imaniar, but you look totally whacked! Let's see...an American Gladiator uniform tank under an oversized tulle blouse and shiny pants, accesorized with a studded leather belt and cuff, and a Warner Bros bling. Oh, and please don't even get me started on the makeup. Tell me Imaniar, what's your objective? Is it Inang-inang meets Avril Lavigne?

With the other pictures featured here, sometimes I can do an 'at least'. You know like, at least she's pretty, or at least she has a great body. But with you, the only 'at least' I can think of is: at least you're not naked.

Oh Imaniar, you come over unannounced. Dressed up like you're somethin' else. Where you are ain't where it's at, you see, you're makin' me laugh out when you strike a pose. Take off all your preppy clothes. You know you're not foolin' anyone when you become, somebody else round everyone else, watchin' your back, like you can't relax. You tryin' to be cool. You look like a fool to me...

Tell meeeee.....

Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah








The new Theory of Real-ugly-vity:

U = VM2

U = Ugly
VM = Venna Melinda



Example:
Venna Melinda in cropped white sweater, cheerleader-mini with two (TWO!!!) belts, mohair helmet hat, and plastic purple shades equals ugly.

Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah






Wednesday, February 22, 2006




Happy Salma recently introduced her new persona for 2006 to the public:

Slutty Salma.
(Not to be confused with 2005's Hooker Salma, 2004's Call-girl Salma)

The new look boasts a more demure appearance with just a hint of her signature (aka main asset) 36DD. The main difference is the use of flimsy and measly article for extra coverage, like this pink knit apron top (which in my humble opinion is just as attractive as Anisa Bahar's cellulite).

Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah






Monday, February 20, 2006

Ain't life a bitch? Just when you found that one jacket that actually would look great on you and flatter your whole look and more importantly is nowhere near the cheap or whore zone, you just couldn't find your size! But that's alright, things like this do happen. And when it happens, I suggest you to just hit the gym and shed those extra kilos off and come back a couple of weeks after just in shape for the jacket (that is if it hasn't been gone by that time). What I don't reccomend is insisting to wear that one (or two?) size(s) too small jacket and causing yourself to look like a bloated balloon that is just about ready to explode. Seriously, you don't want to risk looking like that. To wit:



Mpok Jane.


Posted by mpok jane








Every since her painful and devastating breakup with Sahrul Gunawan, Intan Nuraini has been listening to "I Will Survive" constantly and hailing it as her personal anthem. So it realy doesn't come as a surprise when she's eventually turning into...

Gloria Gaynor!



Oh Sahrul, take a look at her now. She used to be a sweet and innocent (looking) girl that my mom adores. Now she looks like a hostes nightclub from and 80's Indonesian film. What have you done, Sahrul??!!

Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah






Sunday, February 19, 2006




The original caption of the above picture was "Dengan tatanan rambut oke, Dewi Sandra terlihat cantik dalam balutan gaun kombinasi emas dan hitam.". And I was like...What the fuck? Did the guy who wrote it forget to put her/his glasses on when s/he wrote it? No wait, Could s/he even see at all? There is NOTHING okay with a hairdo that makes you look like a rooster, seriously! I am so taking you to an optometrist.

In contrast, the dress could've been okay actually. It has a potential to be this cute little black dress IF she had bothered to leave the golden lining out of the picture. It's just huge, ugly, disturbing, absolutely and utterly looks cheap, and totally ruins the hour glass silhoutte effect that could've been achieved had it not been there in the first place. Sigh...Subtlety apparently is not in some people's lexicons.

Mpok Jane.


Posted by mpok jane






Tuesday, February 14, 2006


Question:
What do you get when you cross Elizabeth Taylor (the geriatric years), a 10000 watt electrocution victim, and a poodle?

Answer:
Rakhee Punjabi.



Neng Sarah.

PS. I didn't get the memo, but, are squished boobs back?


Posted by Neng Sarah






Saturday, February 11, 2006




Dear Cut Memey,

That sumbu kompor minyak tanah garb is the equivalent to the hair on your butt crack: it's meaningless, extremely disgusting, never ever in style, and none of us wants to see it. So i'm telling you, GET RID OF IT!! Yes, both the garb AND the hair on your butt crack.

Insincerely yours,
Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah






Tuesday, February 07, 2006


Maia Ahmad's goiter, otherwise known as Mulan "Ratu" Kwok, has decided to jump in on the "domestic couture" (pioneered by Dhea Mirella and Viona Rosalina) bandwagon by wearing a tablecloth.



"Aku punya taplaaaak....
(Ahhh....ahhh....ahhh....)
Taplak kotak-kotaaaak....
(Ahhh....ahhh....ahhh....)
Kemana dia ada selaluuuu, ada akuuu....
(Uh yeahhhh....)"


Hey, scary lady,
How can you wear a tablecloth and still look skanky?

Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah






Monday, February 06, 2006


The folks at "Cekcok & Recok" sent us this article from their tabloid.

-------##-------

What started out as a boring fund-raising event, turned out to be an exciting evening, when Neng Sarah of whodoyouthinkheare fame met her evil nemesis, Shanty. Our correspondent was more than eager to report this catty showdown for you, our lovely readers.



Excuse me, Shanty...
Who?
Hello, I'm Neng Sarah from whodoyouthinkheare. Perhaps you've already...
Oh yeah I've seen it, I know who you are. Vicious fucking bitch who makes shitty comments about celebrities. How dare you say all those cruel things about me? HOW DARE YOU?? Who do you think... *pauses* you are?
Sorry, but...
BUT WHATTT?? I'm not an imbecile, I have a great style, I'm fucking pretty, and I CAN FUCKING SING WELL, DAMMIT!!! I've won several AMI-SHARP awards!!
Uhmmm...
You think you're so clever and funny with your little writing. You think you're sooo much better than everyone else, huh? Well, FUCK YOUUU!!!!
Well I...
SHUT UP!!! Just shut up-shut up!!! I've had it with you. Don't you play around with me. I can do horrible things to you, because trust me, I can turn into a psycho bitch too. So *singing* no no no noooo... don't phunk with my heaaartttt!!
Huh??
You'd better watch your fucking mouth, bitch! One more remark from you, you'll be hearing from my lawyer, because I'M GONNA FUCKING SUE YOU!!!!
HOLD IT, MISSY!!! You celebrities are alike. It's always "Me, me, me!". Well, how about thinking about us for a change. Think about our feelings! You think just because you're a celebrity, you can torture our eyes with your horrifying sense of fashion? HELL NO! I refuse to be tortured and I refuse to suffer!!
But...
BUT WHAT?? You're a celebrity, for God's sake! You're supposed to be a role model, not a walking, talking, infotainment-hogging, offkey-singing nightmare!!
But, but...
You think I've always been a callous bitch like this? NO!!! I used to be a nice, sweet, and innocent girl. My parents used to be so proud of me. But now, thanks to you and your ill-dressed comrades, I became a hideous monster!! LOOK AT ME!!! Look at what you've reduced me to!!!!
Oh My God, I didn't know...
Of course, you didn't. You think all I did was insult you on my account. But you didn't realize that I'm doing this for your own good, so that you'll realize the mistakes you've made. WAKE UP AND SMELL YOUR DESIGNER-IMPOSTOR PERFUME, SHANTY!!!
I'm so sorry, Neng Sarah...
So from now on you'd better get your act together, or I'll slaughter you with a dull and rusty knife like an anthrax-infested cow!!!
Oh, I promise, Neng Sarah... I'll try my best.
I seriously doubt it. You celebrities never learn. Oh, and one more thing, that Serengeti-inspired dress of yours makes you look like a new addition to Kebun Binatang Ragunan should it decide to open a brothel!!
Whatt?? But, but I thought animal prints are making a comeback.
Yeah, right. Their comeback is just as catastrophic as Imaniar's comeback as the jury of Popstar. Now go! Run, you mediocre, flash in the pan celeb! And don't you dare come into my sight looking like a gang-rape victim in a repository bin EVER AGAIN!!!

-------##-------

Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah






Sunday, February 05, 2006


Viona Rosalina (aka Miss Thank-God-I-Married-Eko Patrio-Otherwise-I-Would've-Been-A-Nobody), was in the mood for something romantic. So she wore a brocade top from "Traditional Romance" collection by Anne Avantie, and a duvet from Romance Springbed.



Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah






Thursday, February 02, 2006


Ladies, if you're expecting or planning on having a baby, there are 2 things that I restrain, nay, FORBID you from doing: watching Rosemary's Baby and seeing this picture of Anisa Bahar.



Please ladies, do not be alarmed. I'm certain you won't turn like this when you're pregnant. I mean, we're talking about Anisa Bahar here. A woman who is consistently scagly (that's scary AND ugly) no matter what she does. So when she ballooned up like this, it's only natural that her level of scagliness rose to a scale of 6,5 richter. I mean, look, a peach-colored chiffon maternity dress that's 3 sizes too big, with an orange sash with the word GOYANG on it, and a wig that looks more fake than her nose and even worse than her pubic hair!!! Only Anisa Bahar, ladies. Only Anisa f-ing "I was raped and well, frankly i enjoyed it, so I had 2 kids with my rapist" Bahar.

Neng Sarah.


Posted by Neng Sarah