Even though she is no longer a permanent resident of
Helen Sparingga Mental Institution For Hasbeens And Wannabes, she still has to attend a weekly group meeting with other former patients so that the doctors can observe her state of sanity after she's being released into the society. The meeting's counselor is none other than former 80s sexbomb-turned-psychologist, Eva Arnaz.
Eva:
Hi everybody!
The Group:
Hi Eva...
Eva:
Welcome to our weekly meeting. How's everybody doing? Sane I hope. Anyway before we start, can somebody name one of my movies?
*silence*
Eva:
My movie...? Anybody...? No...??
*dead silence*
Eva:
Oookay, on with our meeting. Who wants to start?
*the sound of cricket*
Eva:
Well then, let's start the confession alphabetically. Hmmm... Agnes, why don't you go first.
Agnes:
Hello, my name is Agnes Monica, and I was an attention whore.
The Group:
Hi, Agnes...
Agnes:
My parents sent me here because I was an acute attention seeker. I sang annoying and meaningless song just to be noticed. I hogged infotainment cameras with my irritating remarks. And I used to dress like a crazy person just to be the center of attention...
OH GOD I'M SO ASHAMED OF MYSELF...!!! *sobbing*
Eva:
Sheesh... what a drama queen...
Agnes:
Excuse me?
Eva:
Um, nothing. Please continue...
Agnes:
Can you believe I once wore a black lacy tanktop with pink satin tie and tattoo-print arm warmers...
The Group:
*GASP*
Agnes:
Under a white mesh top with the words "STOP THE FASHION SYSTEM" on it...
The Group:
*GASP*Agnes:
With a pink underwear and a cross stick-on diamante on my belly...
The Group:
*GASP*
Agnes:
I'm such a wreck...
But that's all in the past. After being rehabilitated here for 3 months, I realized the mistakes I've made. I no longer feel the need to dress like a Harajuku Slut. I feel like a new person now. It's like I'm born again...!
Group Member 1:
*mumbling* Lying so-called-virgin skank...
Agnes:
Say whattt???
Eva:
She said, "Lying so-called-virgin skank"
Agnes:
I HEARD WHAT SHE SAID...!!!
Group Member 1:
I saw you performing on TV last night on your music special program wearing something too ugly to put into words.
Group Member 2:
Yeah, I saw that too!! Tasteless tramp!!
The Rest of The Group:
Yeahh....
Agnes:
Watchatalkinabout????!!! You're all fools!! That was taped months ago.
The Group:
LIAR!!!
Eva:
Is that true, Miss Monica? Don't lie...
Agnes:
Shut up, you motherfucking hasbeen!! You're a nobody, bitch! The only thing I remember about you from your movies are your spandex tube-top and your bushy armpit hair!!!
The Group:
Eeeeeewwwww........!!!!!
Eva:
Heyyy.... this isn't about me!! This is about you! I knew you've been lying to us. You're still crazy!!
The Group:
YEAHHH...!!!
Agnes:
I ain't crazy, y'all! Just ask my peeps back in the hood. I'm A to tha G to tha N-E-Z. Whoaa... whoa...
Eva:
Uh'oh... Looks like somebody's about to burst...
Agnes climbs to one of the tables in the center of the room and stars singing and dancing like a maniac.
Agnes:
Kau takkan bisa...
Jadikan diriku...
Seperti yang kau mau...
Kar'na ku bukan milikmu...Feeling tortured by Agnes' singing and dancing, the rest of the group is running amok and trying to flee the room. They're all kicking and screaming. The room is a total chaos.
Eva:
NURSE!!!!
Agnes:
Aku adalah...
Wanita yang pernah kau sakiti...
Kini kau tau ku bukan milikmu lagiii...A couple of nurses rush to the room and grabs Agnes.
Eva:
Take her to cell block 2: the nutty successor...!!!!
Agnes:
*shrieking* Lemme gooooo...!!!! I ain't crazy, y'all!!! I AIN'T CRAZYYY...!!!!
One of the nurse is holding her down while the other one is injecting her with tranquilizer.
Agnes:
Whaddup whaddup, y'all...!!!
Bi-hiiiilang sa-haaaaja bila kau mauuuuu....Ho... ho... ho...
Ho yeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..........
Neng Sarah.
