Dear Miss Melly Goeslaw,



To be blunt upfront, ARE YOU CRAZY?? Seriously, you're either crazy or you just bought a straw producing factory whose sales went under the next day leaving you with a year stock of straws that you simply didn't know what to do with hence you decided to pin them all over your dress. Those are straws on your dress, right? To be honest I don't really know what they are, except that they and the blue wig make you look like a rejected clown from Dunia Fantasi. Could they be tentacles that grow on dresses?

And one more thing, just curious, is that a ribbon on your head? I do hope it's not because there only two women in this world who can get away with ribbons on their head, and they are none other than Miss Minnie Mouse and Miss Daisy Duck.

Yours and Distressed,
Mpok Jane.