Ever since Agnes Monica showed up at Panasonic Awards looking like "Xena: The Harajuku Princess", her parents finally realized that their child is actually going insane. So they decided to put her in Helen Sparingga Mental Institution For Hasbeens And Wannabes in Parung, Bogor. I visited Agnes to do a little interview and see how she's holding up.



Hi, Agnes
Yo yo yo, Agnes is in the house y'all! Whaddup whaddup Neng Sarah?
I'm fabulous, Agnes. How are you?
No, bitch! That ain't it. Say it the way it's supposed to be. You know what I'm sayin'?
Yes, I know what you're talking about. But I'm not gonna say it.
Cmon, beyotch! Don't be trippin' on me. You're not down with me, is that what you're sayin, huh?
No Agnes, I'm not gonna...
(Starting to sing) Bi-hiiiilang sa-haaaaja bila kau...
STOP ITTT!!!!
Allright, allright!
*pauses*
Whaddup A'?
That's it! That's the shit, baby! A to tha G to tha NES. You're my peeps, Neng Sarah. You're my peeps. Whoa-whoaaa...
Anyway, how are they treating you here?
Like shit, fo shizzo! They going round actin' like I'm crazy and all. That ain't right, y'all. That ain't right! Cuz I ain't a crazy chica, y'all. I just look like one. Uhuh, yeaaa...
Yes, that explains the teenage mutant Gadis Marathon look you're sporting today. Oh and PS. I can see your vagina.
Whadaryatalkin' bout? This is my X-tina "Can't Hold Us Down" look, aiiight! Cuz X-tina's my ho. She's tha bomb-diggity. Shout out to Lady X, y'all! Hollaaaaa...
Anyway what I'm sayin' is, nobody can't hold me down, y'all. Nobody! Not even the doctors here. Even though they gave me valium and electric shock therapy and all that shit, you know. They still can't hold me down! Word.

(Meanwhile, female nurse is approaching us.)

It's time for your medication, Miss Monica.
What are you talkin' bout? I ain't crazy, bitch!! I'm aiiiiiiight...
Come on, Agnes. Let's get back to your ward.
*shrieking*
Nooooooo...
Get your hands off me!! Lemme goooooooooooooo...!!!

(Agnes is struggling like a wounded animal. The nurse had to hold Agnes down and pull her away.)

Bye, Agnes. Good luck with your therapy.
I ain't crazy!! You're all crazy!! I'm still Agnes, y'all. Keepin' it real. Don't forget my album "Whaddup A'?" drops on December 10! Real hip-hop style. Get it now, y'all. Get it, get it. Yep yep, that's me! Agnes from Cellblock 4 bangsal 11. Say whaaa... Say whaaaa....

Neng Sarah.