Dear Neng Sarah,

Hai, aku Putri Patricia. Inget aku khaaan? Aduh, masa lupa sich? Aku khan dulu pernah main di "Dewi Fortuna" dan "Tersanjung 7". Iiich, Neng Sarah jahat dech. Eniwei, aku lagi ada masalah nich. Begini neng, belakangan ini aku koq udah nggak pernah diajak main sinetron lagi yach. Padahal aku dulu terkenal loch. Iya khan, iya khan? Ngaku dech. Hihi. Aku bingung dech. Padahal aku kan nggak kalah cantik sama yang lain. Aktingku juga oke. Trus bodi-ku juga yahud. Kira-kira kenapa yach? Garink nih nggak ada job. Tiap hari kegiatanku kalo nggak senam di sanggar Mbak Venna, aku nongkrong di PS. Lama-lama khan aku bisa bokek. Mana aku lagi nggak ada cowok lagi. Aduuuh, aku kan boring. Eh, kok jadi curhat sich? Hihi, jadi malu. Yach eniwei, tolong dong Neng Sarah, gimana caranya supaya aku diajak main sinetron lagi. Aku nggak mau popularitasku menurun drastis. Jangan sampe aku nanti kayak Silvana Herman. Aduh, amit-amit dech. Thanks yach Neng Sarah sebelumnya.

Putri.

Dear Put-Pat,

First of all let's get things straight, I don't watch Indonesian Sinetrons. Well, I do admit I did watch Noktah Merah Perkawinan, but then never again, because I realized it was one the biggest mistakes in my life.
Anyway, all I can tell you is this: you need to do something about your outfit. While I appreciate your approach to the "Perek Melawai" look; I love the way it doesn't scream hooker (only whispers) and the Skittles bracelet-earrings set which is just a cherry on top of a bad cake, unfortunately that is NOT what most producers are looking for right now. In case you haven't heard, they're looking for "Innocent Slut". And if you're wondering what it is, just look at Nia Ramadhani or The Virgin girls for reference.
But if you're really really reeeallly desperate, I suggest you to sleep with one of The Shankers or Punjabis. God knows it's a sure-fire way to nab a role in a sinetron, if only as an extra.
And lastly, whoever said that not appearing in any sinetron is a downhill road to unpopularity, is dead wrong. Two words: Rency Milano.

Neng Sarah.