Someone should've stopped Venna Melinda from getting out of the house.



There are just too many things wrong with her, I think I'll use a dot point format so not to miss anything. Here goes:

1. Venna baby, you are not Beyonce and this is not 1974, so hot pants is clearly not the smartest choice. Ooppss...did I say not the smartest choice? I'm sorry, I was being too kind. I had meant to say that it was not a choice AT ALL!!
2. Who on earth told you that you should match your blazer with your hot pants? Well, maybe you should, but definitely not as in taking it so much as to have both made from the same fabric - especially when the fabric in question involves very ugly, cheap looking golden embroidery linings.
   
3. Do you know the rule to making blazers? It goes something like the blazer should be loose enough to keep your breasts from springing out, yet tight enough so not to make some parts look sagging. You, sadly, have managed to get this rule somehow twisted around.
   
4. Yellow bustier inside the blazer and nothing else? My god, Venna...you are going to an award show, not to an orgy party.
   
5. I never ever see the point in wearing a collar, unless you're a dog or you're playing bondage S/M.
   
6. You seem to have a problem in getting lengths right, don't you? Look, your blazer is too short and your hot pants, if you really must wear one, is not short enough. And while I usually can live with hanging sleeves, I really can't help but to find it look awkward on you.
7. Why didn't you have your hair done, or at least have it tidied up?
   
8. Your belt looks cheap and is distracting.
9. Gypsy earrings are soooo J-Lo and god knows what has become of her now.
10. Even the ring on your right index finger is distracting!!

Ohh my god, everything on you is wrong! Do you even have a mirror at home? I would be more than happy to give you one if you didn't.

Mpok Jane.