Dear Senorita Guritno,

I hate seeing you here because I think you're a very beautiful girl. But as a concerned citizen I feel obligated to give some comments on your somewhat "exotic" presentation. So here goes. What the hell were you thinking? Did you have a bad hair day and thought that it was a brilliant idea to adorn your hair with not one but TWO enormous fake flower as a distraction? Well, in that case, congratulations, you've succeed. It really is distracting in a help-i-have-tumor-growing-out-of-my-ears way.

And furthermore, I don't like the dress. I could've liked it, if it's not gathered at your belly button as if it were the eye of Hurricane Katrina. It makes you look fat.

Overall, you look like a Salma Hayek wannabe. A retarded one.

Deepest condolences,
Neng Sarah.